Well, I wake up in the morning / There's frogs inside my socks / Your mama, she's a-hidin' / Inside the icebox / Your daddy walks in wearing' / A Napoleon Bonaparte mask / Then you ask why I don't live here / Honey, do you have to ask ?
Well, I got to pet your monkey / I get a face full of claws / I ask who's in the fireplace / And you tell me Santa Claus / The milkman comes in / He's wearing a derby hat / And you ask why I don't live here / Honey, how come you have to ask me that ?
Well, I asked for something to eat / I'm hungry as a hog / So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog / I've got a hole / Where my stomach disappeared / Then you ask why I don't live here / Honey, I gotta think you're really weird.
Your grandpa's cane / It turns into a sword / Your grandma prays to pictures / That are…